Grandpa's Spirit

All day long I’ve been smelling
a day old drunk
rubbing at my nose like bad scent cologne
And it follows
flows in the air everywhere
In the bathroom, kitchen and bedroom

And I'm walking remembering grandpa
drinking white rum
Gallons and gallons gulp down
with plain, tap water
Not mixing the sweet coca cola

And I asked about the strong burning flavour
But grandpa assured me it was good to drink
seeing he had no teeth to chew sugar cane
And I believed him then
but not now, I’m grown

Heading towards the brown broken door
I freeze
Grandpa’s spirit is following me

Daydreaming

Soiled love washing on shore
Scrubbing sand between my toes
hoping salt will cleanse to pure
our love

Slow emotions moving like tired waves
His body barely touching my wanting skin
yet I am drooling and trying
Struggling, fighting to start a fire
getting closer stirring friction
Hoping his saccharine lips can meet to kiss
Just hoping

These grains of sand between my toes
keeps triggering hope
that today my thoughts, my dreams
can produce more than just a touch
more than just, make believe
bringing this into being real
Netting the fish to my lips
regaining access to the heart
to the flesh, and breathe easy

~Daydreaming by the river bank~

You Lock Yourself In A Room

You lock yourself in a room
Strolling down a winding realm
Your mind is drifting
From now to then
when you were just a babe

someone comes knocking
Unlocks the unstable door
And things starts creeping. The haunting
the boss, the bills , a crying child
and trailing tears follow
And you cry out “ enough!
the room is full.

The Woman

The woman stood at the bus stop
In summer’s warm July, breeze
Three young children. A boy, two girls
Dressed in red, silver, gold and green

Took me back to cheerful colours
Of Christmas
And the cold and the snow
Carolling singing and gift giving

But no one was singing
And no one was giving
Three young children pulling
long black tassels dangling
from the woman’s red ball room dress

One child. The little boy, overjoyed
Of the family’s outing, prancing
with a sway; slightly swinging
Here, there posing

Hand in empty pocket, chest pouting
A convincing proud pharaoh; ruling
floating on well paved sidewalk runway
Unaware his green suit was out of style
Vintage purchase from a used clothes isle

And the little girls looked on
Sweating in their red, silver and gold
Still holding the black tassel
Motionless

And the sun rays were sharp and straight
Pointing at the glass shed where they waited
And the bus took like forever
Sweat pouring down the children’s face
Like melting candles on a Christmas tree

And the woman kept drying sweat
And straightening the un-ironed
Crushed collar hugging her son’s neck
Reached in an old black purse
Passed around water for each child to sip
And I watched all of this

And the sun was pelting
a sweltering burning heat.
She was on lowered knees
Fixing the swaggers suit.
Brushing the young girls hair
While she herself was need

And I wanted to say something
Pay her a nice compliment. Anything.
And when I looked at her trying eyes
I freeze
Feeling the force of her pushing
Fighting with poverty

My thoughts brought me back
To when I was a single mother
Turning hands to make better
Walking in the dreadful dark
Holding a bright light.
And the tears I held tight
Fell.

Early Morning

Early morning walking
Along Bellamy road
Near the tall buildings
It is quiet
Until you bend the corner
To cedar brae drive
Under medium trees
That bares no fruit
But they are there
For some reason
For the birds that perch
In flocks of many
Like a colourful choir
Singing a melodious chorus
cheerfully chirping
in discipline sequence.
And as soon as the body
Makes that turn
swings to the corner bend
They rise
With high, pitch voices
And wings extending to fly
Hovering among the clouds
Landing calmly
As they see me moving
Away from their home
Going to my own

And I Let Him Go

Seeing him lying
On the carpet floor
In the dim lit room
Staring at white clean ceiling
I try to imagine
What is he seeing?
What is he thinking?
And the tears
And the music he choose
To listen to
A lonely song
Not too sad
But lonely
And yearning
He don’t look at me
Yet I know he knows
I am looking
And I am curious
And I remember
The tiny purple parrot
purchase years ago
And my Mama warn
“One day the cage will open
And the bird will go!
And I see my lover
Crying secret tears
Water flowing his face
To the floor
And I open the bedroom door
And let him go.

I Had Him Last Night

I had him last night
In a hush secret session
Moving like quick sand

Sinking heated passion
Dipping
Tumbling
Rising
Falling
Behind the dim lit stand
Of orange grape fruit
And the sound of patrol
Boots moving around
Corner bend Belay road

I had him last night
But only for a while
Two minutes in a sleepless night
Returning to dream of him tonight